yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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