My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
