I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
