Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize