ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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