Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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