I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
