what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We need to rekindle our bromance
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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