So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
