I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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