I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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