Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
