finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
