Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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