hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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