Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
