The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
