On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm sobbing to NWA
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