some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
