You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize