i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
