he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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