For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think I sprained my soul last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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