so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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