My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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