just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize