I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
