if you like me you must not know who I am
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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