Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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