people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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