After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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