Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
