if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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