If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
