are you so shy because you have an std?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who died my cat blue again?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
