So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
