So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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