I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
