I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
