Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
