i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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