If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Randomize
