Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
