Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
