I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
