belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dicks are not precious.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
