addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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