so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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