I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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