It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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