I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
