im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
