Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
