so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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