Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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