Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
