i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
