Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
