so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
