Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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