Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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