So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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