those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
