Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
