I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sobbing to NWA
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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