WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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