I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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