I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
