Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize