drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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