Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize